Grandma applies for $1200 housing credit in mom-of-3's name, gets offended when she doesn't give the money to her: 'I didn't ask her to do this'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 3, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Family is supposed to help family, but this isn't always a simple equation.

Many people are unlucky enough to have relatives who totally exhaust their goodwill when it comes to supporting them, and they have to draw the line somewhere. Others find themselves in difficult scenarios because of the actions of family members, and they can't get out of them without upsetting somebody. There are many different stipulations to the principle that family should be there to help you in a time of need.

For example, things quickly become problematic when a relative does something behind your back. Most of the time, it shows that their intentions are not necessarily good ones. It is also more likely that their past actions have not been the greatest, either. There is a lot to take into consideration when you find yourself in this situation, as you may end up being harmed by taking certain actions against it. The relationship is also likely to be jeopardized if you react to strongly, although not everybody is going to see that as an issue. If a family member has been using them for their benefit, perhaps they would rather that they were more low contact with them.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • A mom hangs out on a couch with two of her daughters, wrapped in blankets
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A mom hangs out on a couch with two of her daughters, wrapped in blankets

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a single mom of 3 was surprised to find she had been approved for a scheme giving her a $1200 credit for her rent payments. What she soon found out was that her mom had applied in her name and expected to receive the money directly to help her while she was unemployed.

    When the grandma found out what had happened, she demanded that the money be given to her. However, the daughter was also struggling financially and felt like this was something that she really needed. It was leading to tension, and she wanted to find a way to get over it.

  • Would I be wrong if I don’t pay my mom $1200 after she applied for something without telling me and it backfired?

    I'm 36F with 3 kids, and my mom is 58F. About two years ago, when I moved into my apartment, it had to be put in her name first (long story, not totally legal), and then I got added on. Since then, I've been trying to get everything fully in my name so I can handle my own stuff without her being tied to it.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • So here's the issue. A few months ago, without telling me, my mom applied for some kind of assistance program connected to my apartment. She thought they were going to send her a check so she could use it for her own expenses because she wasn't working at the time.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • Well... that's not what happened. Instead, I get a letter saying she was approved and that $1200 was being applied as a credit to my rent. I wasn't even behind on rent, so it just kind of sat there as a credit.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • Now she's saying I owe her the $1200 because she's the one who applied and she was "supposed" to get that money. But I literally didn't ask her to do this, didn't even know she did it, and never agreed to pay her anything.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • I honestly cannot afford to just hand over $1200. I'm already struggling and raising 3 kids. When she confronted me the other day, she kind of cornered me about it and I said I'd try to pay her back in payments just to end the conversation, but now I'm sitting here like... why did I even agree to that?
    via Common_Primary2839
  • For some background, this isn't the first time money has been an issue. The past few years she's gotten really weird about money and constantly says I owe her things, especially around tax time. I have borrowed money from her before and paid her back, but this past year, I made it a point not to borrow anything
    via Common_Primary2839
  • and be completely independent. I've even been removing her name from my phone, car, lease, everything, because I'm tired of feeling like she can hold things over my head.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • This situation just feels different to me because: I didn't ask her to apply I didn't get actual money, just a rent credit She made an assumption and it didn't work out
    via Common_Primary2839
  • I feel like this is on her, not me. But now she's acting like I'm wrong and that I owe her no matter what. So WIBTA if I tell her I'm not paying her the $1200, even though I already kind of said I would in the moment?
    via Common_Primary2839
  • Edit: I just want to clarify how I got the apartment and what I meant by it not being "totally legal." When I first applied, I was about $2,000 short of the income requirement. Because it's an affordable housing unit (not public housing), combining my income with my mom's would have put us over the maximum allowed.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • The property manager suggested putting the lease in my mom's name initially, adding me later, and then removing her at renewal. When renewal came around, I submitted the paperwork to have her removed, but the office delayed processing it for about a year despite multiple follow- ups. As of last month, her name has finally been removed and the lease is now fully in mine.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • For context, I've borrowed money from my mom before and always paid her back, and I try to return the favor when she helps me. Lately, though, it feels like she's been doing things with the expectation that I'll owe her or repay her in some way, and this situation is part of that pattern.
    via Common_Primary2839
  • An older woman looks out the window while talking on a cell phone
    via A.C. (Unsplash+)

    An older woman looks out the window while talking on a cell phone

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Few-Illustrator63 I'm wondering if your mom getting it would be fraud
    via Few-Illustrator63
  • ajbshade So this honestly sounds like fraud. You do not owe her a dime. If anything I would contact the department that issued the credit and tell them there was an error and have it removed. Do not attach yourself to this mess in any way legally. You've already toyed
    via ajbshade
  • with something tenuous at best when it came to applying for the apartment so I would not test this any further. In fact now is a great time to set a hard boundary with your mom about money.
    via ajbshade
  • TurtlePope2 ΝΤΑ It's really weird how your mom is acting over this. If I was a parent I would be thrilled that some program I applied for end up benefitting my child by giving them credit for rent.
    via TurtlePope2
  • Lovebug-1055 Sorry mom, but you just did me and your grandchildren a favor or would you prefer I contact them and have them write you a check directly??? Yea, I didn't think so because what you did was fraud.
    via Lovebug-1055
  • IAMA_Shark_AMA NTA, but you're an idiot if you use that credit. It's almost definitely fraudulently obtained, and using it makes you party to that crime. If you think times are tight now, wait till you need to factor lawyer fees into the budget.
    via IAMA_Shark_AMA
  • odysseyjones I would ask her who's name is the application under, and ask for evidence. If you don't use it for rent you might have to give it back (also get clear on if this money comes with stipulations and what they are).
    via odysseyjones

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family drama housing rent family mom money entitled people
Scroll Down For The Next Article